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Vintage Intern: The Monday Night Wars, Volume 12: WCW Halloween Havoc '98, 10/29/1995

2018.10.18 18:20 KayfabeSoupPBR Vintage Intern: The Monday Night Wars, Volume 12: WCW Halloween Havoc '98, 10/29/1995

original Facebook post


-Note: Ahhhhh, the refreshing two man commentary team of Schiavone and Heenan returns! This should at least make what is going to be an unmitigated sh*t show seem more palatable, right? Also, for some reason, both Hogan and Giant are already on the rooftop of Kobo Hall playing MONSTER TRUCKS in preparation for their MONSTER TRUCK SUMO MATCH! I was not lying or joking, THIS IS A THING THAT IS HAPPENING! Also ALSO, we learn that Ric Flair was... GASP! Attacked sometime prior to the show starting - possibly the Greatest Attack In The History Of Our Sport? - and his ability to team with Sting is up in the air now! I'm sure it'll all work out fine in the end.

It's a good thing for Badd that he is (spoiler alert) WWF bound within a couple of months because here he's already showing his chops as a d*ckbag WWF babyface: His “awesome” music (that sounds like the Saved By The Bell theme song, and contains “clever” “well written” lines like “He's as pretty as a picture! He looks just like Little Richard!”) plays, and he makes his way out in a not-at-all-suspicious manner, with his back turned to the ring, his face hidden from the camera. But wait a minute, it's a fake! The REAL JBB comes out of the audience and attacks Page from behind! Man, Page is an absolute bumping machine here, selling Badd's fired up offense like he were Curt Hennig, and making me rethink my entire narrative of “DDP was terrible until mid 1996 or so”. Likewise, I once again have to rethink my narrative of “Marc Mero was the sh*ts” because man... During the last PPV, he and Pillman put on an incredible classic, and while this match isn't as good, it's still a really damn good match! Albeit one that was probably rehearsed 4 million times, if I know how Page operates. Schiavone actually brings up a plot point that I ABSOLUTELY forgot about, and will actually make some of the Diamond Doll's actions over the next few months make more sense: not only is the Diamond Doll upset with Page for that heinous assault on Badd during a recent episode of Nitro, apparently DDP won 13 MILLION DOLLARS in the lottery, but gasp, it turns out that the ticket MAY have actually been KIMBERLEY'S! WHAT A HEEL! So there's some friction (and not the good kind, ahem) going on between the Diamond Themed Couple. So much friction that when Page finally takes control of the match and demands that the Doll hold up his proto-Tye Dillinger 10 judge card, she REFUSES TO! When she does eventually hold up the 10 sign for a DDP back suplex, the look on her face clearly tells us that she disagrees with her own rating. And once Badd makes his own comeback, he signals for the 10 after hitting a Flying Axe Handle, and Doll does just that, with a smile on her face! The finishing stretch of the match has some great spots, I have to say, including Badd countering a Diamond Cutter by hooking his arm around the top rope (that's ring awareness you NEVER see anymore!), and Maxx Muscle getting taken out not once, but TWICE - the first time off of a big dive that wipes out both heels, the second being when he gets up on the apron to hold Badd in place for a Page punch. Badd moves, Page stops short before he hits his own henchman, in a rare moment of recognition that things didn't go as planned... but oops, he gets dropkicked from behind and takes out Muscle anyway! The finish plays off of that last spot, as Muscle once again gets up on the apron, and this time DDP holds Badd in place. Maxx goes for a clothesline, Badd moves, and unlike his employer, Muscle does NOT stop short, dropping DDP to the mat, and Badd picks up the win and the title!
RESULTS: Badd def. Page via pinfall
MELTZER RATING: *** This seems right to me, and is kind of a great sleeper classic in my eyes. Page was everything that a classic Southern heel needed to be: a falsely confident bully who still relies on outside help and cheating when in control, a complete chickensh*t when on defense, and willing to bump and sell like a madman. Badd played the role of the Tommy Rich type babyface perfectly as well, knowing when to fire up and when to sell and build sympathy, making several false comebacks only to get cut off and build that extra heat, and finally make the hot comeback proper. I wish I could assure you all that this match is a good indication of how great the PPV is going to be, but... you know... Monster truck sumo matches and mummies.

“From the Land of Yin And Yang... ZODIAC!” #LOLWhat?!?!?! That makes “From Tsunami” sound like “From Detroit, Michigan” by comparison! Note: I accidentally typo'd that as “Detrout, Michigan”, and holy ****, Detrout would be an AWESOMELY terrible hometown for an aquatic themed wrestler like Shark! Anyhow, to recap why this match (and the later match between Luger and Meng) is “important”, both Luger and Savage have matches with members of the Dungeon Of Doom tonight, but also SUPER HATE EACH OTHER because WCW Babyfaces' default state is “I DON'T TRUST YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE WITH THIS EVIL FACTION MAYBE!” It gets even worse when the nWo shows up. Sting's “intelligent” “well thought out” plan is to set up a small, “start at the semi finals” tournament of sorts: if Savage beats Zodiac, and if Luger beats Meng (LOL at the word “if” in those statements), then they will face each other! Sure, that'll help things? The reason I'm spending so much time talking about the backstory is so that I don't have to talk about 1995 Savage taking on ANY era Brutus the ****ing Barber Beefcake cosplaying a ****ing zebra. Luckily, there's really not much to talk about here, as the most exciting thing to happen is a fan jumping into the ring after a few punches are thrown, and getting subdued while Savage hits Zodiac with the most 80's WWF safe, boring offense for like a minute. Just a lot of bad punches, and phony slams against the barricade while they're out on the floor. Then Zodiac gets in one bodyslam, thinks that's enough offense to justify going up top for a splash, misses, and Savage wins with the Big Elbow.
RESULTS: Savage def. Zodiac via pinfall
MELTZER RATING: (DUD) Sounds about right, at least they kept it short?

-Mean Gene is backstage shilling the WCW Hotline, and I only bring it up because he mentions that he'll be joined by both Mike Tenay (YAY), and Mark Madden, thus making me CRINGE about the name “Mark Madden” long before that ****ing moron shows up on weekly commentary. “Geez Intern, tell us how you REALLY feel about the guy?” He also gets an interview with Badd, who... and this is Hotline worthy news... is happy that he won a title! He also gives an inspirational “Kids, you can achieve your dreams, I am living proof!” speech, and lies to the fans by saying that he's never going to quit WCW. Stay tuned for the next couple of months to see him prove himself wrong!

This is billed as a “revenge match”, and for good reason: at a recent Clash of the Champions card (sometime before the scope of my coverage), Kurosawa attacked Hawk after a tag match, locked him in a very early version of the Disarmer, and then went full proto-Pentagon Jr, “breaking” his arm by falling back, essentially doing the Hammerlock Arm Breaker minus the hammerlock part. Wait, is Robert Parker just Kurosawa's Miestro? His Dark Master to whom he needs to sacrifice arm bones? So, do you know what's more stupid than putting a 3 minute squash on a PPV? Putting a 3 minute squash where THE ONE DOING THE SQUASHING ACTUALLY LOSES THE MATCH onto a PPV! Seriously, for two minutes of this, Kurosawa does exactly two things: dodge a Hawk charge to the corner (which gets no sold immediately), and fall on his back a lot. He does eventually get in some offense thanks to Parker holding Hawk's foot, Parker gets a clothesline for his troubles, Hawk gets sent into the ring post, hit with a Samoan Drop and it takes a combination of slamming a man's face into metal, Kurosawa putting his feet up on the ropes, AND Parker holding Kurosawa's feet for stability for him to get the 3. Hawk is up at 3.1, at 100% HP, because of course he is, and I guess the best kind of revenge is... losing?
RESULTS: Kurosawa def. Hawk via pinfall
MELTZER RATING: * I think the one thing saving this from being a (DUD) in my books was the opening minute of the match, Hawk was striking with a modern Strong Style level of intensity, that was pretty ****ing dope.

-More Mean Gene interview time, this time with Savage, and I love his choice words of “We had a little audience participation!” Even better is telling Gene that his mustache is crooked, which cracked me the **** up. Savage tries to hype up his potential upcoming match with Luger, but Gene channels his inner Bischoff by going “Let's not talk about that, let's talk about monster trucks and your Good Friend Hulk Hogan WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HULK HOGAN!” Do you guys remember the episode of The Simpsons where the Itchy and Scratchy Show added Poochie the Rocking Dog? Hulk Hogan is basically the Poochie of WCW: whenever Hogan isn't on screen, all of the other characters should be asking “Where's HOGAN?”

As a quick note, The Sheik coming out with Sabu here is his uncle, Ed Farhat, the long time local promoter of Big Time Wrestling in the Detroit area. Not the Sheik who wants to **** a Killer Bee in the ass. Big difference between those two beyond one using the word “Iron” in his name. Sheik may be old and decrepit here, but he lives up to his madman persona by BRINGING A ****ING SCIMITAR to the ring with him, like he was so much Tiger Jeet Singh! He also takes a bump early on, off a Sabu Asai Moonsault to the floor, and 'Bu is just lucky that he didn't overshoot and land on, you know, a ****ing scimitar. Sadly, this is another one of those matches that only gets a little over 3 minutes, but it's a complete, reckless car crash of high spots for that time, so at least it's fun while it lasts. After 3 minutes of both guys mostly exchanging jumping things off of the top ropes (seriously, it feels like 85% of the match took place with one or both guys on the top turnbuckle), Sabu puts JL away with a Split Legged Moonsault, and Sheik literally puts old school heat on JL by BLOWING A ****ING FIREBALL IN HIS ****ING FACE! It mostly happens off camera of course, because WCW. Note: if memory serves me correctly, this is Sabu's first PPV appearance with the company, and I think his last as well.
RESULTS: Sabu def. JL via pinfall
MELTZER RATING: **1/2 Probably a fair rating, this could have been an incredible spectacle if they could have gotten even 7 or 8 minutes.

-Oh man, I forgot that The Master showed up on this PPV to scream nonsense at the top of his lungs about how they're going to somehow end Hulkamania with a ****ing mummy. And that destruction of Hulkamania is going to cause a WORLDWIDE TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN! If you ever wondered why The Master looks like he fell into a vat of flour, I can explain it: he's just coated in cocaine. Sullivan is also in full on ridiculous mode here, putting over how Giant is going to beat Hogan twice: once in the ring, once on the rooftop by being better at monster trucks.

-And here's something that's worth spending money to watch: Mean Gene, Hogan and Jimmy Hart are on hand to present some family with a motorcycle they won in some contest! Woo...hoo? This segments lasts longer than every match we've seen thus far besides the first one, because OF COURSE IT ****ING DOES!

....Can we go back to the short matches please? The story here is that “LEX LUGER IS IN THE DUNGEON OF DOOM PROBABLY!”, both because WCW Babyfaces (Tony in this case), and because apparently on an episode of Saturday Night, Luger was facing DOD member Shark (FROM TSUNAMI!), and ALSO DOD member Meng came in, kicked Shark in the back of the head, and gave Luger the DQ victory. Anyhow, to give you my reason for not wanting to talk about the actual match, do you remember a few weeks back when Meng fought a knocked out Luger on an episode of Nitro, and it was like 8 minutes of kicking, punching, and restholds? Take that match, give Luger plenty of the same kind of bad offense because he's fresh, and let it go THIRTEEN MINUTES, and then give it a (spoiler) DQ FINISH and yeah, maybe you can see why I give less than zero ****s about this one. Basically take the worst 1995 Raw slow paced, zero urgency kicky punchy chinlocky affair, and throw it right in the middle of a thing we fans were expected to spend money on. To put it another way, it makes PBR's rating of (FART NOISE) sound like Beethoven's Symphony 9 by comparison. The most exciting thing to happen is a guy not cheating, I swear; Luger keeps getting knocked to the floor, Sullivan doesn't try to cheap shot him, and Schiavone thinks this means that LUGER MUST BE IN THE DUNGEON OF DOOM! Actually, scratch that, the legit most exciting thing to happen here is Heenan talking about going out for a business meeting and having sushi, which is pretty meaningless now, but is actually planting the seeds for the awesome common thread that runs through December's Starrcade PPV. Anyhow, the finish, which makes “Roman Reigns earns another title shot by beating Bob Lashley” look like “Daniel Bryan wins the title at Wrestlemania” in terms of strong booking decisions: Luger is in control, so Meng pulls out the Golden Spike, blasts him in the throat with it in plain view of the ref (who of course sees nothing), gets the 2 count, but as the ref is about to count 3, Sullivan runs in and very gently stomps Luger on the shoulder, therefore getting his own man disqualified! Did... Did we ****ing need 13 minutes of the worst wrestling possible to build to that?!?!?! Ah well, this can only mean one thing, sing along if you know the words: LUGER MUST BE IN THE DUNGEON OF DOOM!
RESULTS: Luger def. Meng via DQ
MELTZER RATING: -* (Worst Match Of The Night) I'd say that seems kinda generous to me, but I'm pretty sure I missed like 4 hours of this match due to napping, so what do I know?

-Speaking of people who are in the Dungeon of Doom, Mean Gene talks to The Giant! For the record, it's Giant who's in the DOD, I'm not a WCW commentator so I'm not making wild insinuations about Gene... yet... There's something about seeing Giant dressed up like a damn NASCAR driver that makes him seem 100% less intimidating, I swear. Anyhow, at this point in his career, Giant hasn't been known for cutting good promos, so he... actually cuts a pretty damn good promo about how he's going to push Hogan off of the roof of Kobo Hall, and also chokeslam him to win the WCW title? Okay, I wasn't expecting that, so that's a pleasant surprise!

OH THANK ****ING GAWD A MATCH THAT SHOULD BE REALLY GOOD! The story here of course, as mentioned at the top of this review, is that Flair was attacked before the show, and the payoff is that... GASP! Sting has to go it alone, 1-on-2! If this happened in 2018, then Sting would probably be allowed to go into the audience and pick a 10 year old boy to be his partner, but I digress. Anyhow, the fun thing here (which Heenan actually brings up) is that this parallels a recent Nitro match, where this very tag match was supposed to happen, only Sting let Flair go it alone to see if he could trust a man who's nickname is the Dirtiest Player In The Game, and who has turned on him multiple times, and STING YOU ARE ****ING STUPID! The in ring storytelling is pretty on point though: Arn is great, Pillman is great, Sting is clearly a level above them on an individual basis, but because it's two on one, he's only able to do so much before the Damned Numbers Game catch up to him. Oh, and also, the audience REALLY wants Flair here, as evidenced by the “We Want Flair” chants, something that WCW probably loved hearing this time around, and not, say, in 1992, when Jim Herd caused Ric to leave the company and fans both revolted and WERE revolted by Herd's “creative”. Anyhow, the Damned Numbers Game. Arn takes over in the funniest way possible: by ramming Sting's head into Pillman's, causing both his partner AND his opponent to be knocked loopy! It sounds stupid, but was actually an old Ole and Gene Anderson spot, to get over the fact that they were tough SOBs where were willing to sacrifice each other's well beings if it meant winning a wrestling match. Not long after, RIC FLAIR SHOWS UP, in regular old street clothes, and with a bandage on his head so you know he's hurt! He tries to get in to make the save, but the ref forces him into his corner and makes this a traditional tag match, where Sting is YOUR face in peril. The heels continue to isolate Sting, and of course take advantage of my favorite traditional tag team trope ever - the “hot tag” partner getting into the ring to help out, but instead just creates a ref distraction - to maintain control, but it falls apart when Arn tosses Pillman with the old Rocket Launcher spot, and he lands belly first on Sting's knees; Double A is able to get into the ring to pull things back together and prevent the tag, however. Finally, Sting fires up, takes both heels down with strikes, makes the hot tag, and leads us to my favorite finish of the night: Flair rebounds off of the ropes, Fargo Struts... and PUNCHES STING RIGHT IN THE ****ING FACE! The ref calls for the DQ because reasons, the Horsemen beat the ever living sh*t out of Sting in a 3-on-1 flurry of offense, and you now know why I've been making “Sting is stupid” jokes on a nearly weekly basis. What I love about this is that it basically means that the past month or so of WCW storylines has been a complete lie, you have to assume that Ric has been in cahoots with Dabbalay and Pillman for some time, right? And that they were essentially beating the sh*t out of each other for nothing, all in a long con on the most naive wrestler alive?
RESULTS: No Contest due to Excessive Four Horsemanship
MELTZER RATING: ***3/4 (Match Of The Night) Hmmm, I'm not entirely sure about this. It's definitely in the ***+ range, but better than the opener? I dunno, if you look at it objectively, this really did feature the same amount of kicky punchy offense and restholds as LugeMeng, and featured the same “non-finish due to someone turning on their teammate” finish, the main thing to set it apart was that the attacks were done with urgency, it looked like a real fight as opposed to two guys farting around to kill time, and actually told a strong in ring story.

-An outraged Mean Gene gets to talk to the 3/4s of the 4 Horsemen, and the fact that he seems shocked at this turn of events makes him the second dumbest person in the promotion, behind only Sting. Flair screams and rambles a lot, but the gist of the promo (mostly made clear by Arn) is great: we the fans wanted the Horsemen to reunite, well, be careful of what you wish for, because they got it, even if it meant sacrificing the most naive dude in existence!

-Backstage, Tenay is on hand to interview Luger about the baffling finish to his terrible match. Luger stumbles through a promo in order to lay out a much more reasonable explanation for why Sullivan turned on Meng than what Tony's been selling: he sees it as Sullivan really wanting Savage vs Luger to take place in hopes that they destroy each other. He managed to get through the whole promo without completely ****ing up words, or complaining about his shirt being too tight, so I call it a huge win.

-After a video recap of the Hogan/Giant feud, including footage from the epic “IT'S NOT HOT” vignette from within the Dungeon's mystical cold water cave, we go to... You know what? I'm going to filibuster this a bit by linking to that video for those who haven't seen it, because it's the worst, but in being so is the LITERAL BEST! (forgive the Japanese subtitles)

-BAHAHAHA! I still literally LOL for this every damn time! Anyhow, after our recap, we go to... Ah, **** me standing, it's time for the Monster Truck Sumo match. For reasons I couldn't even begin to tell you beyond “he has a boner for Hogan”, Bischoff sits in with Heenan here instead of Schiavone, along with the guy who built Hogan's monster truck, in order to DISCUSS MONSTER TRUCK SPECS! It is just as exciting as it sounds. To give you an idea how of terrible an idea this is, the rules are this: both trucks are attached to each other grill-to-grill, inside of a big circle on top of the roof, whoever uses their truck to push the other truck completely out of the circle wins. There's also RANDOM EXPLOSIVE CHARGES placed on the rooftop, and because the trucks apparently run on alcohol, this is presented as being SUPER LIFE THREATENING! I need to use SO MUCH UPPERCASE TEXT to put over how stupid this is! So yeah, the commentary team puts this over as EPIC and DANGEROUS, but it's just two ****ing trucks doing the tango on a rooftop until - surprise surprise - Hogan pushes Giant's truck outside of the circle. But wait, Giant is a sore loser and goes after Hogan post truck driving! They tussle to the edge of the roof, Giant strangles Hogan, Hogan fights his way out and ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKS THE GIANT OFF OF THE ROOF OF KOBO HALL AND MAKES HIM FALL TO HIS ****ING DEATH!!!!!! I AM NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS SH*T UP I SWEAR!!!! Bischoff channels his inner Vince McMahon and responds to this tragedy in the same way that Vince did the death of Owen - essentially saying “**** it, the show continues!” - and calls Tony back to resume commentary with a distraught Heenan.

Hmmm, I wonder how this is going to go? On paper, this would normally play out with a fun “powerhouse who is literally made of muscles and steroids” vs “crafty veteran who is better at wrestling” encounter, but this has an added twist: while both men have wrestled already, Macho only put in a WHOPPING minute and a half of work (as opposed to 13), and had WAY more time to rest up than Luger, because I guess that they felt it was better to give the advantage to the crafty veteran instead of create drama by having the muscular dynamo be the more well rested one? In case you were hoping that this was going to be an under the radar classic, bare three things in mind here: (1) We're asking Luger to wrestle after he's already wrestled for 13 minutes. That'd be like asking Ricochet to try and out-promo Adam Cole. Which, if you watched NXT this week, they already did, and you know how that went; (2) As much as I love Macho Man, and as much as I love a selection of his matches in WCW, by 1995, Savage has very much left the “I'm good at wrestling” part of his career behind, and entered the “look at me, I'm Macho Man, I'm a big name!” portion of it; (3) this is a cooldown match of sorts between a World title match that may not even happen, and a SHOOT MURDER! At BEST, a shoot manslaughter! Luger goes for some Code of Honor stuff, offering a handshake, but Savage used to be a WWF Babyface, so of COURSE he kicks Luger in the gut, WHY WOULDN'T HE? This leads to 5 minutes of the most WWF kicky punchy chinlocky match you could imagine, with LUGER doing the lion's share of the character work here, selling absolute rage on all of his offense, and overselling any blows Savage throws at him. Yes Soupies, while I'm not saying that Luger is a better worker than Savage, I'm saying that tonight, Luger is doing better work than Savage. The best part of the match though is Heenan freaking out about not getting any info on Giant's condition, and it's made all the more enjoyable by the knowledge that Bischoff loved to keep his announcers in the dark about everything that was happening on the show, which means there is at least an 80% chance that Heenan thinks he witnessed a shoot murder and is shoot distraught about it! Anyhow, this match, woof! As mentioned, it's like 5 minutes of bad striking (made enjoyable only by Luger yelling “ARGH!” on everything, whether he's delivering OR taking offense), with the exhausted Luger controlling the fresh as a daisy Savage for like 4m59s of it. Luger goes for the pin with his feet up on the ropes, but the ref doesn't see it because a randomly appearing Jimmy Hart is up on the apron distracting him. Luger then tries to Irish Whip Savage, who reverses it, Luger collides with Hart, and this PUTS LEX INTO A ****ING COMA long enough for Savage to go to the top and hit the only meaningful bit of offense he got all match, the Big Elbow. Do you see what I mean when I say Savage was well past the “good at wrestling” portion of his career at this point? Here he's like a less infuriating Hogan, where he has the ability to instantly win matches, and is only lacking the “no selling your finish” and “having a seizure of strength” parts.
RESULTS: Savage def. Luger via pinfall
MELTZER RATING: 1/4* Sounds about fair, I might have gone as low as (DUD) or even -1/2* if the crowd wasn't into it, booing everything Luger did and popping for Savage's epic one move comeback.

-Well, The Giant is dead, either drowned in Lake Michigan, or splattered on the concrete outside of the Kobo Hall (depending on where he fell), but we still have a main event to get to, as Michael Buffer goes to announce Giant's entrance, but instead we get street clothes Hulk Hogan! Remember how over the past couple of weeks, Hogan's been cutting these dark, vaguely Bible misquoting promos about how wearing black gloves and a black doo rag means he's going to SHOOT MURDER Giant? Welp, here he is cutting s “Brothers, I'm sorry I killed a brother, brother!” promo, and assuring us that what happened out there wasn't part of the show. It's the forerunner to the Attitude Era, in that those years were ALL about creating storylines who's entire point was “Everything else on the show is fake but THIS IS REAL!” I'm actually surprised to see it happening here, I had thought that this trend really originated (in WCW at least) with the Pillman “Loose Cannon” stuff in '96. Anyhow, while he's in the midst of recanting his prior threats of murder, with feet that are so cold that “AHHHH, THEY'RE NOT HOT!!!”, THE GIANT makes his way out! A... perfectly intact Giant... Showing no wounds from landing on pavement... no sign of wetness from landing in the lake... so... #LOLOLOLOLOLWHAT?!?!?!?! Welp, I guess we got us a main event after all, and what could be better than lazy ass 1995 Hogan vs a big rookie who's wrestling his first match?

So, remember the last sentence of that last paragraph? Well, you should, as it's just a few lines above. Anyway, reread that sentence before I even start to discuss the match, and ask yourself, GEE, I WONDER HOW GOOD THIS IS GOING TO BE?!?!?! Funny moment right from the start, as Hogan removes his black doo rag to reveal that he has Kevin Sullivan's EVIL FOREHEAD FACE PAINT on his forehead! The reason I say this is hilarious is because he FACES AWAY FROM THE HARD CAM, so we at home miss the big reveal!!!! Maybe WCW needed its own NXT and Performance Center to prevent stupid gaffe's like this? Or maybe he just wanted to prevent Schiavone from saying “This can only mean one thing... HULK HOGAN IS WITH THE DUNGEON OF DOOM!”, I dunno. Anyhow, the match. Picture Hogan/Andre at WM 3, only with none of the awesome build up or in ring storytelling that made that memorable, if Andre were SUPER green, and if Hogan were the decrepit one. Yeah. Just yeah. Lots of Giant no selling, lots of bad looking strikes, and I think the most athletic thing we see through most of it is Hogan being unable to bodyslam Giant. I'm also starting to think that crowd noise was being piped in, because you hear loud HOGAN chants, but everyone in the audience who's on hard cam are pretty much just sitting on their hands saying nothing. But hey, if there's a plus side to this, it's that Hogan must be feeling altruistic tonight; instead of taking Giant's finish and going into his bullsh*t no selling seizure of invulnerability, here he dodges an attempted “leg drop” (I put it in quotes because it looked more like a bad Senton) and then goes into his bullsh*t no selling seizure of invulnerability! You know how it goes from here: bad 80's WWF punches and offense that looks like it wouldn't hurt former WWE tag team champion Nicholas but is KILLING this massive rookie, and the most devastating move in Hogan's repertoire: the BACK RAKE OF DOOM! Seriously, this is a thing that Hogan tried to get over for YEARS during the nWo, but at least there, he had gloves with the fingertips cut out. Here, it's just plain old black gloves, but he's able to REND AND TEAR THE GIANT'S BACK MUSCLES THROUGH SHEER FINGER STRENGTH PROBABLY! Giant goes for a chokeslam, but Uber Babyface Hulk Hogan RAKES THE EYES, because Hogan has ALWAYS been an evil dude, brother! And if all of this doesn't sound exciting enough, once Giant gets back in control, we get TWO LENGTHY BEAR HUG SPOTS! Your butts must be sore from how much you're sitting on the edge of your seats right now! Finally, Giant hits the big Chokeslam, covers, one, two, Hogan kicks out and goes into his no selling seizure of invulnerability... ARE YOU ****ING SH*TTING ME?!?!?!?!?!?! If there's anyone on here who still defends Hogan for reasons beyond his importance to the business... WHY?!?!?!?! The brother has done more to harm pro wrestling and make it look like a phony thing for idiots than Vince ****ing Russo for ****s sake! Anyhow, **** this piece of sh*t, **** this match, it's almost over anyway so let's just skip to the finish, which is both spectacularly overbooked, AND sets off a baffling chain of events that include multiple betrayals and alignment changes, and the (up until this point) dumbest moment in WCW's history. Hogan hits the Big Boot, when it doesn't score a knockdown, he bodyslams Giant, hits the Leg Drop, covers, but Jimmy Hart has knocked the referee out with the World title! Mind you, you wouldn't notice it if you're watching at home (like I am!), because Craig Leathers is a worse producer than Kevin Dunn and misses the shot. Hart feigns innocence and helps Hogan help the ref up, but then OOPS! He runs off, grabs the belt, and HITS HOGAN WITH IT! GAAAAAASP! Hogan of course no sells it half a second later, but I'm okay with it this time. Hart weighs, what, maybe twice as much as that belt at best? Even the ref should have been able to shrug that off. Giant instigates our THIRD lengthy bearhug spot of the match, which brings in Sullivan to throw some sh*tty punches. THAT brings in both Luger and Savage to make the save, but Savage is subdued by Hart and the World title that Hogan JUST NO SOLD (not an intentional booking decision, honest, ahem...), and LUGER starts attacking SAVAGE! CLEARLY THIS MEANS THAT LUGER HAS JOINED THE DUNGEON OF DOOM! And not that, you know, those two had a match earlier, and that Luger and Savage still hate each other. THIS brings out the YET-TAY, and in the one moment of this whole match that prevents this sh*tpile from becoming negative stars (for making me laugh so much), he gently wraps his arms around Hogan's neck, from behind, and STARTS DRY HUMP ANAL RAPING HULK HOGAN!!!!!!!! I AM NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP, he just kinda barely crossfaces him and starts wiggling his hips, kinda rubbing his crotch against Hogan's ass, and IT KILLS HULK HOGAN SUPER DEAD!!!!! This is one of those moments that's going to require proof, isn't it? Well, I came prepared!
Or as I like to call it, Hulk Hogan's FIRST Sex Tape! Anyhow, after this, Luger proves all of Schiavone's wild claims to be correct by putting Hogan in the Torture Rack, and then they move onto Savage, giving him a brief Giant/Yeti DP session and a Luger Rack for their troubles. And this is the note we end on. Giant wins by DQ, he's not the champion, but he leaves with the belt anyway. But don't worry, THIS GETS EVEN MORE CONVOLUTED OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS!
RESULTS: Giant def. Hogan via DQ
MELTZER RATING: ** HOW! HOW THE **** DID THIS EVEN GET MORE THAN *?!?!?!?! I'm usually Mr “Match Ratings Are Subjective And Not Scientific” but NO! This was a terrible pile of sh*t that would have been a -* anti-classic if the ending wasn't so laugh out loud worthy!

PPV BUYS: 0.60 Well, this did better numbers than the last PPV, and holy sh*t, did those fans get the opposite of their money's worth! This is honestly a really fun show to go back and watch on, like, Dailymotion, or even on the WWE Network (ONLY $9.99 MAGGLE!) like I did, but could you imagine spending PPV money on this sh*tpile? I didn't even watch the event when it happened and I want my 1995 money back!
HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: This is probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but as much as I loved the Sting vs Two Of The Horsemen While Partnering With The Third Horseman Because He Is An Idiot Match, I still think the opener between Badd and Page was actually the superior match. It told just as strong of an in ring story, while also featuring more action, better spots, less restholds, and didn't have a **** finish. This match is even MORE superior if you grade on a curve, and consider the talent involved in it vs the much higher talent quotient involved in the tag match. But you can't go wrong with making either match your pick, honestly.
LOWLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: As much as I want to give it to green ass Giant and infuriating ass Hogan, at least that had enough campy LOL worthy material to make it memorable. Watching 13 minutes of Luger d*cking around the ring with Meng was about as bad as Hogan/Giant, but is also entirely forgettable. I think that's mostly because it was so bad, your brain just kills all brain cells that would normally remember that the match was even a thing, as a defense mechanism.
NEXT WEEK: The fallout from Halloween Havoc! How will Hulkamania react to getting destroyed by multiple betrayals and ancient Egyptian sodomy? How will this storyline, and the status of the World title, become even more convoluted? Be sure to check it out! Over on Raw, meanwhile, nothing but punches and chinlocks probably! And also, Razor defends his IC title against Owen Hart, insuring that we get at least ONE good match on the card!
-The In-Turn... Er, I mean, Intern (Damn you Schiavone!)


Volume 1:
Volume 2:
Volume 3:
Volume 4:
Volume 5:
Volume 6:
Volume 7:
Volume 8: Lost in the ether?
Volume 9:
Volume: 10:
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2018.10.01 18:16 KayfabeSoupPBR Vintage Intern: The Monday Night Wars, Volume 3: WCW Fall Brawl ‘95, 9/17/1995

original Facebook post:

-As a brief note before the show kicks off, due to Nitro only coming into existence two weeks prior to the PPV, and me not having episodes of Worldwide or Saturday Night to catch up on any angles, we're basically going into this PPV blind. There's bound to be a few things happening that I have no explanation or backstory for, and I can't rely on nostalgia or memory because I wasn't actually watching WCW at this point in my life when this originally aired; I kind of tuned out of the product when Hogan showed up and nerfed all of my favorites, and only got back into it after Hall showed up in May of '96. So yeah, here's hoping that online reviews I've read before and Wikipedia help me fill in the blanks!
  1. US TITLE #1 CONTENDER MATCH: JOHNNY B. BADD VS FLYIN' BRIAN PILLMAN Something else I maybe should have included in the show notes: one of the fun things about Fall Brawl (or any PPV including a War Games match) is the visual of seeing two rings side by side all night. Some of the more clever workers (Rey Mysterio, I'm looking at you when you eventually show up) would actually use this as more than just a cool visual, and build spots around it. Additional note: I REALLY wish I knew what was happening on the B shows during this era, because white meat babyface ass Pillman was getting absolutely BOO'D during the introductions. Did he start randomly doing heel things on Saturday Night and I'm not aware of it? Or does this city just really love Boxing Little Richard: The Wrestler? So do you guys remember how episode 1 of Nitro started with a hot Pillman vs Liger match that I said would largely set the pace for how WCW shows typically worked? This is a much higher stakes version of that, where a shot at Sting's US title (which has NEVER been mentioned on Nitro thus far) is on the line, with two high fliers who pale in comparison to what the company would see over the next few years but were still fantastic for this era, and gets just a little shy of 30 minutes of time! Cruiserweight matches on modern day Raw were lucky to get more than 3 minutes when they were happening regularly, so a 30 minute PPV opener between two guys who could go is an absolute treat. Of course, this is pre-luchadore high flier action, so it's REALLY a combination of athletic moves, mat wrestling, and strikes. Kind of the prototype version of modern heavyweight matches with indie guys who can do flippy sh*t as well as work a more traditional size. Only with more ring psychology. As the match rolls on, I'm honestly wondering if Pillman DID go rudo at some point between Nitro 1 and now because this goes very quickly from “friendly babyface vs babyface wrestling match” to “OH GOD! Brian, why are you punching Badd in the face so hard that his ----ing eye is bleeding?!?!?!” It's a good choice for storytelling purposes, as it helps add a heightened sense of urgency to the match, and it gives former heel, former boxer Badd an excuse to get heated and throw fists of his own without looking like he's reverting back to his bad guy roots. Bonus points to Pillman trying to go all Code of Honor after things get heated by extending a hand, DOUBLE bonus points to Badd for being like “---- that, you PUNCHED ME IN THE ----ING FACE!” and refusing the handshake. Oh, and remember how I said this match got just shy of 30 minutes? The fun part is that the match actually had a 20 minute time limit! Womp womp! So yeah, the 20 minute time limit expires, and referee Nick Patrick decides that there has to be a #1 contender crowned, so the match will continue under sudden death overtime rules. So in other words, a regular match, and the whole notion of giving the match a 20 minute time limit was a moot point to begin with if there had to be a winner anyway. It's a minor oops, but still, OOPS! Pillman actually got the visual pin going into the time limit expiring, getting a 2 count on a backslide with the bell ringing right before 3, so you can probably guess who's ACTUALLY winning the match based on that, right? This final stretch has spots that would absolutely pop crowds TODAY, I should add, like Badd hitting an Avalanche Rana, or getting on the apron and press slamming Pillman off of the top turnbuckle, to the FLOOR and INTO THE ----ING BARRICADE! HOLY SH-T! This is so good that Heenan accidentally invents a modern wrestling fan chant, claiming “THIS IS WRESTLING!” The finish is comparatively simple, but great. Badd whips Pillman, and whiffs a clothesline. Pillman tries a clothesline on the rebound, he also whiffs. On the NEXT rebound, both men barrel forward at full speed, attempt simultaneous crossbodies and collide mid-air. Badd happens to land on Pillman and picks up the win, telling the story of “I may have beat Brian Pillman tonight, but just barely!” Seriously guys, even if you aren't the types to hit the Network and watch any of these shows as I review them, if you have a good 30 minutes to kill some night, hop onto the Network and watch this match. It was an absolute classic in '95, and still holds up today in 2018. RESULTS: Johnny B. Badd def. Flyin' Brian Pillman in Sudden Death Overtime via pinfall MELTZER RATING: **** (Match of the night)
-Mene Gene brings us our first interview of the night, with “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, which is always awesome even when Flair doesn't have anything more significant to say than to recap his feud with Arn Anderson. The battle of brothers who have different career goals and are clashing as a result.
2) COBRA VS SGT. CRAIG PITTMAN Oh ****, how do I even explain this without sounding like I'm making things up? Pittman is a former marine turned pro wrestler who, while never the best worker in the world, had a legit amateur background and had a few super dope matches towards the end of his WCW career, as you'll see over the coming months. (Spoiler alert: this is not one of them!) Cobra is probably better known for his time later on in company history as the nWo's Fake Sting, here he's playing another military guy in what I can basically only describe as a Wrestling GI Joe feud. The story is that Cobra was a subordinate to Pittman during the Gulf War, but also CIA and/or Special Forces, according to the commentary team? He was left behind by his commanding officer during a mission, and has come back seeking revenge. WRESTLING REVENGE! Note that this is the blow off to their feud, and it's so important that the match gets less than 10% of the time that our opener did. Cobra (who's music is seriously just ****ing Morse code, because wow) makes his way out, Pittman's music hits but he doesn't make his way out, instead some ADDITIONAL GI Joe themed guy comes out to stand on the apron. Cobra yells at this solider, Pittman rappels down from the rafters, sneaks up on Cobra, CHOKES HIM THE **** OUT with his bullet belt before the bell rings, and after like a minute or so of bad striking and attempted wrestling moves that never make it past the “attempted” phase, Pittman locks in his Code Red cross armbar finish for the win. Remember, THIS WAS THE BLOW OFF MATCH TO A FEUD! I spent like 5 times the length of this match just writing about the backstory! RESULTS: Sgt. Craig Pittman def. Cobra via submission MELTZER RATING: DUD (and no, this is NOT your worst match of the night)
-OH SH*T! I DID NOT KNOW THIS AIRED ON FALL BRAWL! So Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorf (who in 1995 was still ****ing AWESOME, though sadly towards the end of his career) was going through a bit of a career crisis. He lost faith in himself, and began questioning whether or not he even WAS Mr Wonderful anymore. This triggers a run in cameo appearance from Gary Spivey? Gary Spivey of the Psychic Companions Network? (To use Orndorf's on words), who uses his Psychic Companions Network powers to basically just tell Orndorf to look in the mirror and say how awesome he is. I can't even do this justice, it's so ridiculous, so watch it below. The payoff to this is... Well, it's nothing, so just enjoy the ****ing video.
3) TV TITLE MATCH: DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (W/THE DIAMOND DOLL AND MAX MUSCLE) VS THE RENEGADE (W/JIMMY HART) (C.) Speaking of “it's nothing”... THIS MATCH! If you remember my Uncensored '95 review, Renegade was basically a faux-Ultimate Warrior with none of Warrior's upside. While history remembers DDP as becoming a great (if not overly rehearsed) worker with an insane ability to connect with the audience, this is absolutely not the case in 1995, here the closest thing he has to a visual upside is “has a hot wife who serves as his hot valet”. Things would get better for one of these two men at least, but that doesn't help this match at all, sadly. You may also notice that I've yet to mention the TV title in my Nitro reviews, and that's because it is seriously one of 3 different titles on the card that were never brought up or seen on the flagship show; neither Sting's US title (despite him featuring prominently on both episodes), Renegade's TV title nor the Tag titles were even brought up once. I'm guessing that these feuds were built up on Worldwide and Saturday Night, and were never featured on the new flagship show because hey, it debuted 2 weeks before the PPV, might as well focus solely on Hogan's World title? I originally went into this match thinking that nicest thing I'll say about it is that it was at least short, at a little over 8 minutes long. Probably 8 minutes longer than it needed to be. Then as I watched it, I found small things that I actually wound up enjoying way more than I had any business doing. Page wasn't exactly a great worker at this stage in career, but he did an exceptional job both playing the chickensh*t heel role here, as well as bumping his ass off to carry Renegade to something watchable. He also has what I jokingly call the prototype version of Tye Dillinger's gimmick going on here, where he'll perform a spot and then make Diamond Doll (his wife Kimberley) hold up a sign rating that spot as a perfect 10. Okay, I take back some of the criticism I made earlier, Paige was already absolutely on point as a character worker at this point. And despite my comments about Renegade having pretty much no upside, I have to give him a bit of credit, I think he could have been a solid midcard hand if he ever learned to put a little oomph behind his offense and make it look like it was hurting anyone. Dude had the right level of energy, but with zero intensity behind his moves, and it just looked slightly above Hogan levels of phony. The finish was kinda cool too, even if it made Renegade briefly look clever, and then like a complete idiot. Max Muscle (a former bodybuilder who never really did much beyond this WCW run) got up on the apron, but Renegade sent Page into him, and hit a surprisingly nice powerslam. He went up top for a big splash or something, but instead opted to dive from the top turnbuckle to the FLOOR and hit Max with a Diving Clothesline, in what is easily the best spot of the match. He tries to get back into the ring, but Max holds his leg, and this allows DDP to hit his Diamond Cutter and become your NEW WCW TV champion. Honestly, while this wasn't a great match by any means, it was still better than I anticipated going in. RESULTS: DDP def. Renegade via pinfall MELTZER RATING: **
4) WCW TAG TITLE MATCH: HARLEM HEAT (W/SISTER SHERRI) VS DIRTY DICK SLATER AND BUNKHOUSE BUCK (W/ COL. ROBERT PARKER) (C.) I probably don't need to say anything about Harlem Heat, but the tag champions might need a bit of explanation. (1) Dirty Dick Slater is an old school legend who made a name for himself in Florida and Texas. He was noted for being tag team champions with Bob Orton Jr. as his partner, and yes, I find it absolutely hilarious that a guy named Dirty Dick was once partnered with a guy who had hepatitis. Of course, his bigger claim to fame was his tag team run with Dusty Rhodes in the late 70's. (2) Bunkhouse Buck is an old school legend from the Tennessee territory, where he wrestled under his real name of Jimmy Golden, and was part of Ron Fuller's Stud Stable. His WCW gimmick sounds like the most Southern version of a Kill Bill character possible. “My name is Bunkhouse Buck and I LOVE to Funkhouse ----!” (3) Both men started their wrestling careers in the late 60's, so at this point, they had nearly 60 years of combined experience. And were anchoring the tag division in 19-goddamn-95! And now, the match. History will remember Harlem Heat as one of the best tag teams in the promotion, and rightfully so, but this match was less about “let's have a 5 classic wrestling match”, and more about “let's create the most overbooked nonsense involving the weird relationship between each team's manager”. As a spoiler alert, as you'll come to see over the next couple of years, Harlem Heat was great, but unless they were doing squash matches, they worked almost exclusively in convoluted overbooked finishes. I might be exaggerating here, but if you watched like 10 consecutive hours of Harlem Heat matches, and took a shot every time they picked up a clean, no nonsense victory, you would be SO SOBER that if you got took a breathalyzer test right after, it'd tell you that your blood alcohol level was too LOW and you could probably use a drink or two! As a quick recap of the overbooked angle that was somehow more important than the title match itself, the relationship between Sherri and Parker was formed through sweet sweet sexual harassment. No, seriously! Parker would continually show up to try to mack on Sherri, only to get rebuffed every single time. Then during a Clash of Champions match, they got involved in a physical altercation which saw Sherri hit her head, and when she came to, she was suddenly SUPER IN LOVE with Parker all of a sudden! There's probably a ton more to this that I'm missing, but honestly that's the gist of it, and I wish it wasn't important enough for me to have to break it down in the first place because of how utterly stupid it all is, but alas, here we are! Now onto the match. As you'll see below, Meltzer took a huge sh-t all over this one, but I honestly think he was way too critical of it. It's not a lost classic or anything, but both members of Harlem Heat have this great intensity to everything they do and are obviously a top tier tag team even at this point in their careers, Slater and Buck might be way past their prime, but they're both still able to work a timeless Southern rasslin style that, while not exactly the most exciting thing in the world, is fantastic at generating heat, and is honestly still pretty awesome for those who grew up watching Memphis or Texas rasslin (or who would fall in love with it later in life like myself), and if we could have seen this play out without any overbooked nonsense factoring in, it might have been given at least a good 1/2 or 3/4 star from Dave. And now... Your wonky finish! While a 4 man cluster---- brawl occurs in the main ring, Sherri and Parker randomly decide to get into the second ring, they start making out. You'd think that this was crucial to the finish, but no, it only serves to distract US, the viewer, as we get a wide camera angle so we can see both rings at once, and then later pull AWAY FROM THE MATCH so we can see what the ----ing managers are up to! The ref gets distracted by some brawling going on outside of ring, and misses The Nasty Boys showing up. They get their hands on one of Slater's boots, not sure why it's off of his foot, but whatever, they blast Slater with the boot, and one of the Heat (I couldn't see which one because the camera was in wide angle mode) picks up the win, making Harlem Heat the new Tag champions. Note that Bunkhouse Buck was actually the legal man in the match, so... OOPS! One last fun note before we move on: although he was on the opposite side of the ring for this one, Harlem Heat actually debuted with the company (in dark matches only I believe) with Parker as their manager. At this point, their names were Kade and Kole. They were two black guys managed by an old timey plantation owner. And came to the ring WEARING CHAINS! HO...LY... SHT!!!! RESULTS: Harlem Heat def. Dirty Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck via pinfall MELTZER RATING: -\* I still think that's a bit unfair, match was a solid * at worse, and honestly the crowd was into it. I don't care how jaded you are, or how much you jerk off to puroresu and ONLY puroresu (I'm talking to you Dave), NO match that is resonating with the crowd in a good way should be getting negative stars.
-Okerlund is at the entrance way to meet Slater, Buck and Parker with an attempt to get their take on what happened, and Parker seems pretty fine with prioritizing “trying to get laid in the middle of the ring” over “being there to help his team win”. At no point does anyone involved in this point out that the WRONG ****ING MAN WAS PINNED, so... I guess it's just a “because WCW” moment?
-We then move onto a SECOND Okerlund interview, this time with Arn Anderson, which is the biggest possible upgrade from those last two matches that I could ever imagine! Well, first we get a video package recapping the recent feud between the two men, which is helpful for those like myself who don't have access to all of the weekend tv shows building this PPV. Much like Flair earlier in the show, Arn does such an incredible job putting over the conflicting emotions of “I love this man like he were my own flesh and blood”, and “**** you, I'm on the right side of this conflict, and I'm going to force you to respect me and my perspective with physical violence!” Though to be fair, Arn could probably spend an entire promo just reading the periodic table of elements and I'd give him an A+.
5) ARN ANDERSON VS RIC FLAIR Hey, a match I don't have to give a ton of backstory to, because this angle was touched upon on Nitro, and if I have to explain who Ric Flair and Arn Anderson are, then I don't even know what to tell you! The simplest way to sum them up is “two guys with dad bods who are BETTER AT THIS THAN ALMOST ANYONE!” A really nice touch here is that when they pan to the crowd, a good chunk of the roster is actually IN the audience, watching this one as fans, how ****ing incredible is that? It's not something I'd want to see happen enough to become an ongoing trope, but how much more gravitas would it add to a big time WWE match if they had their notable wrestlers sitting at ringside to watch it for no purpose other than “this is going to be amazing and we have to see it up close”? It's basically every 90's Flair match ever, lots of Flair stalling and begging off, lots of Flair signature selling and spots, and if you think I'm complaining, then you're so far off the mark. And if you were to watch this match by not actually watching it, and only listening to the audio, you'd swear to God it was Austin in there, Arn is so over with the audience. Arn Anderson could very well be one of the best and most over wrestlers to never get a run with the top title, I swear. The audience is also equally into Flair, and it makes for a heel vs heel match that SOUNDS like a face vs face match if you listen to the crowd noise. It's a weird dynamic that shouldn't work, but considering the legendary status of both men involved, and the amount of love and respect they've earned over the years, it absolutely does. And then, because WCW, here's your absolutely not clean finish that makes no sense, but is a means to fuel an angle who's conclusion will (spoiler alert) ALSO make no sense! In the final stretch, there's a great long submission sequence where Flair has Arn in the Figure 4, and looks to have the match won until he spits in his face. This causes Arn to fire up enough to temporarily no sell the hold (and that's the key, TEMPORARILY! He didn't pull a Hogan and heal himself to 100% HP, his adrenaline just kicked in and allowed him to briefly ignore all pain. Take this lesson to heart please, every indie wrestler working now), and reverse it. Unfortunately for Arn, Flair is close to the ropes and is able to use them to break the hold. Doubly unfortunate for Double A, Flair is in fine shape, but Arn's knee is shot, he can barely get to his feet and move around in the ring. For reasons that I couldn't explain, super whitemeat babyface Brian Pillman runs out from the crowd, gets up on the apron and yells at Flair, then punches him in the face, and hits a very early version of Finn Balor's (and a million other indie guys now) rope assisted enzuigiri; this is all done behind the ref's back, as he's busy checking on Arn. Anderson scurries over as best as he can, hits the DDT, and picks up the win. So to summarize, one heel beat another heel because a babyface ran in and unexpectedly helped him cheat? Because... WCW? Still, fantastic match, another one I suggest you all go out of your way to watch. RESULTS: Arn Anderson def. Ric Flair via pinfall MELTZER RATING: ***1/2, which seems a bit low to me, but that's just my non-star giving opinion.
-Hooboy, this should be a treat, we get a Kevin Sullivan narrated video package hyping up the War Games main event. Sullivan is a tremendous talker, but this sh*t is so hokey that I don't even think The Rock at his peak could have delivered this without sounding like a ****ing goober. Needless to say, I love it. Just the sight of Sullivan SMASHING A HULK HOGAN TOY WITH A ****ING SHOVEL alone is enough to make me want to go full Meltzer whacking it to a Tokyo Done match and give it ******1/2. The follow up WCW narrated video package is not quite as good, but still freaking awesome/hokey.
-Backstage, Okerlund gets to interview Hogan, Savage, Sting and Luger, who are decked out in camo outfits and face paint, and according to Hogan have been drinking Agent Orange. Hahaha, holy sh-t, is THAT the secret to Hogan's skin color?!?!?! Despite the narrative at the end of Monday being “Luger is Dungeon Of Doom maybe but Sting and Luger say he isn't?”, the babyfaces say they're all on the same page, and then Hogan IMMEDIATELY sh-ts on that by saying that they DIDN'T trust each other just a few minutes ago, but Macho set him straight by pulling a Stone Cold, saying “DTA, don't trust anybody”, and just focus on beating the Dungeon of Doom so Hogan gets 5 minutes alone with Sullivan. Hahahaha, what the ****?!?!?! All 4 guys sounded like they were on all the drugs here, which made this confusing at times, but pretty great honestly.
6) MAIN EVENT – WAR GAMES: THE DUNGEON OF DOOM (MENG, KAMALA, SHARK, ZODIAC, W/KEVIN SULLIVAN) VS HULK HOGAN, STING, MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE, AND LEX LUGER (W/JIMMY HART) For those who are unfamiliar with the War Games rules, I'll sum them up here as quick as I can. Each team starts with one member in the cage, for 5 minutes, at which point one team (the one who won a pre-match coin toss, always the heels every damn time) sends in their second. Every two minutes from there, each team alternates sending in a member until all 8 men are in the cage and then THE MATCH BEYOND starts. It's only then that the match can be won, but only by submission or surrender. Needless to say, this quickly becomes too much of a cluster**** for me to review properly, so I'll break down the entrance orders, and point out any notable/important moments. -We start with Sting vs Shark, which is probably just as exciting as you imagine it to be. Lots of Shark using his power and fatness to very... slowly... dominate... Sting... until he swings the action back into his favor with an AWESOME spot, charging with a flying clothesline that knocks both of them over the top rope and into the OTHER ring. Fan-****ing-tastic! Not as fantastic (but still hilariously awesome) is Shark trying to ****ing plancha over the top ropes of BOTH rings, but getting caught on top of both top ropes, because he's TOO FAT! -Shockingly, the heels one the coin toss (GASP!), and Zodiac is the second man to enter, because this match needed more Brutus the ****ing Barber Beefcake cosplaying a ****ing zebra who alternates between yelling “YES” and “NO”. -Macho Man is second in for the faces, which vastly increases the workrate capacity of this match. Except it's War Games, so it's all brawling anyway, oh well! -Third in for the heels is Kamala, which vastly increases the fat man quotient of this match. Holy ----, could you imagine someone trying to get the Kamala gimmick over in 2018? Could you imagine how much internet outrage would happen over trying to get “mindless African jungle savage/cannibal” to work? I think the only thing MORE offensive to everyone would be trying to get the Memphis Kamala 2 gimmick over, which was (I sh-t you not) “Kamala, but a white guy”! -In a moment that would be ironic when you think about what happens in the summer of 96, Hogan is NOT the third man tonight, Luger gets that nod. Yes, I just wanted to make an nWo joke there. Also, the babyfaces fall apart briefly due to accidental hitting, because OF COURSE THEY DO! -This means Meng is second last out, and Hogan's out last, because of COURSE Hogan is the one who's going to do the least ----ing work in this match. He hits the ring with HANDFULLS OF WHITE POWDER, and it makes sense because I'm sure that 100% of these Dungeon Of Doom storylines are booked by snorting copious amounts of the stuff. -Now as mentioned above, once everyone is in the match, it can only end by submission. The faces have Sting with his Scorpion Death Lock, and Luger with the Torture Rack, so how do you think this one is ending? If you guessed “Master of submission Hulk Hogan takes down all 4 Dungeon members by himself with sh-tty offense, takes roughly 0 bumps, and after less than 2 minutes of action (for which he'll get paid LOTS of money), makes Zodiac submit with a ****ing CHINLOCK”, then... Well, then I'll probably accuse you of having seen this before because of how specific (and correct) that guess is. He sets the chinlock up like he's going for a Camel Clutch but nope, straight up Steiner Recliners it by letting Zodiac kind of sit up on his knees, instead of lay out as fast as possible and have his back stretched into an arc. This is somehow the least frustrating Hogan match I've ever covered though, so... small victory? RESULTS: Hulk Hogan def. The Dungeon Of Doom via submission (his partners were there too) MELTZER RATING: *1/4
-Now Hogan gets 5 minutes alone in the cage with Sullivan, and if you're wondering why I'm not counting this as a bonus match or the main event or anything, well, this is really more of a post-match angle than it is a match. Lots of Hogan slamming Sullivan's head into the cage (even though the REAL way to damage someone with a steel cage is to rub their face against it like a cheese grater), they somehow go outside, then lots of Hogan slamming Sullivan's head into the OUTSIDE of the cage. And then, out from the back comes The Giant, the very first form of the current Big Show, here being presented as the son of Andre The Giant because... WCW? Somehow this literal giant manages to fight past the referee to get into the cage, SNEAK UP ON HULK HOGAN, choke him, no sell Hogan punches (HOW DOES IT FEEL YOU ****ING ORANGE ***ING DCKBAG?!?!?!), and then BREAKS HIS ***ING NECK!!!!! I don't mean that in a hyperbolic “he piledriver'd him so hard that I bet his neck is broken” way, I mean that as in he puts both hands on Hogan's head and does a big, action movie style exaggerated neck snap! The rest of Hogan's friends only come out for the save AFTER the crippling, because even they probably don't like Hulk that much, plus they know he'll no sell a broken neck anyway. So that's how we choose to end the PPV. Hulk Hogan is possibly dead, or paralyzed, be sure to tune in to see how Hogan takes a sh-t on that narrative in the coming weeks, and how this storyline becomes one of the most ridiculous things I'll ever cover!
PPV BUYRATE: 0.48 Good GAWD! Even though this was a much better show, that's like half the amount of PPV buys as Uncensored did! I'd love to know what kind of excuse Hogan had for his War Games main event being such a sh*t draw.
HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: I'm honestly torn between Pillman/Badd, and FlaiAnderson. Both were amazing in different ways, and both are absolute standouts on the card. Ultimately, I'm giving the nod to Pillman/Badd, though it's by a slim margin. Both matches were rich as far as in ring storytelling goes, the opener had that plus being super exciting going for it and just barely gets the edge in my books.
LOWLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: The pointlessness that was Pittman/Cobra. Seriously, did that even need to be a match? Wouldn't it have accomplished just as much if it were done as an angle?
NEXT WEEK: Ric Flar gets a little Fall Brawl revenge as he takes on Brian Pillman!! In a not at all similar to this storyline showcase of “good friends suddenly have an issue with each other”, Razor Ramon takes on 1-2-3 Kid! They used to be allies, but they never DID seem to... KLIQ properly. Ahem. Don't you dare miss it!
-The Intern
Volume 1:
Volume 2:
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2013.11.17 01:58 Syorari Syorari's Reference [Kimberley]

Requests for Me (5) with Permalink
From Pokemon Recieved Pokemon Sent Notes
xKaillus Jolteon Shiny Eevee Permalink
Granite8907/snake8907 Jolteon Shiny Noibat Permalink
cheet087 Breloom Shiny Vulpix Permalink
YMHD025 Eevee Shiny Smeargle Permalink
bhudarkrai Vaporeon Shiny Honedge Permalink
Requests for Me (7) No Permalink ; [PM/Different Site]
From Pokemon Recieved Pokemon Sent Notes
BalakayB Shiny Shuppet Shiny Honedge GameFAQs Thanks for the Shuppet!
darklord722 Chingling Shiny Gible Thanks for the Espurr afterwards!
BeastJesus Breloom Shiny Froakie
iLocke Jolteon Shiny Sableye
yoongg Breloom Shiny Eevee
darknessturbo8 Shiny Dratini Shiny Dratini GameFAQs Dual Shiny Dratini Trade! Awesome.
AznMonkeeBoi Leafeon Shiny Ralts GameFAQs
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CHEATING WITH THE DOOR LOCKED PRANK ON BOYFRIEND (Gay ... Music videos - YouTube What's Cooking With Kimberley: Detox Soup Locke & Key Cast Members: Age & Real Life Partner Revealed ... CLAY AIKEN & QUIANA PARLER 'SILVER BELLS', 2004 [140] kados834 - YouTube

Kimberley Locke Tour Announcements 2020 & 2021 ...

  2. Music videos - YouTube
  3. What's Cooking With Kimberley: Detox Soup
  4. Locke & Key Cast Members: Age & Real Life Partner Revealed ...
  6. kados834 - YouTube
  7. Deep Dish with the Doctor and the Diva Exchanging Phone Passwords
  8. Kimberly Varadi Locke and Key Audition
  9. Jim Brickman: The Collection - YouTube
  10. Music videos - YouTube

Jim Brickman - A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes Featuring Kimberley Locke by Jim Brickman Music. 4:25. Hero's Dream (Bonus Track) ... Partners In Crime by Jim Brickman Music. 3:03. Kimberley Locke Returns to 6 American Idol! (2008) - Duration: 6 ... Se the woman police officer who shot and killd a thug to sve her partners' lives in Brooklyn. kados834 uploaded a video ... Please visit for nutritional value and a print-friendly copy of this recipe. Hosted By: Kimberley Locke Director: Ann Marie Williams-Gray Executive Producers: Ann ... Netflix's Locke and Key Cast Members: Real Age and Life Partners in 2020 Bode Locke Played By: Jackson Robert Scott, 11 Tyler Locke Played By: Connor Jessup,... Time for deep dish and Kimberley Locke and Dr. Steve from “The Doctor and the Diva” joined us at the desk. We talked all about sharing your phone passwords with your partner. Do you think it ... Does anyone know the name of Clay's singing partner? It sounded like he said 'Keeana' and I couldn't make ... Skip navigation ... Kimberley Locke - Silver Bells (Official Music Video) - Duration: ... CHEATING WITH THE DOOR LOCKED PRANK ON BOYFRIEND (Gay Couple Pranks) For todays video I do a cheating boyfriend prank on my long distance boyfriend! Idea fro... Jim Brickman - A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes Featuring Kimberley Locke by Jim Brickman Music. 4:25. Jim Brickman - Beauty And The Beast ... Partners in Crime by Jim Brickman Music. 3:23. Jim ... Kimberly Varadi Locke and Key Audition David Frantz. ... Age & Real Life Partner Revealed! - Duration: 3:47. ... 'Locke & Key' Stars Darby Stanchfield & Connor Jessup Reveal the Creepiest Scene ... Jim Brickman - A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes Featuring Kimberley Locke by Jim Brickman Music. 4:25. Jim Brickman - Beauty And The Beast ... Partners in Crime by Jim Brickman Music. 3:23. Jim ...